It's tough when you get a glimpse of hope or possibility, only to find that the path you're on leads to a dead end.
Believe it or not - I got a call early yesterday morning with the possibility of going back to work. It seems that the gal who took my place at the dental office back in February was about to quit and wanted to see if I wanted my old job back.
I had quit because we were about to leave for Korea to adopt our baby boy. I worked evening hours that could not be changed, and this didn't coincide with local day care center hours. My hubby travels frequently, so this wasn't going to work...and so I became a stay at home mom.
I've been very fortunate to have the means to stay home for almost 7 months now. Staying home with Isaac has proved to have a very positive effect on his transition, development and with bonding/attachment for us both. But...I miss working. I'm ready to think about re-entering the world of work. Some days at home seem 1000 hours long...no matter how busy I try to stay....
Well, the possibility of going back to a place where I could hit the ground running, work 3 days a week (but only till 5pm!) sounded attractive. I started calling day care centers to check availability and pricing. I was stunned to find that every single place either had a minimum age of 3 years old, or was completely FULL. With a very high rate of layoffs and unemployment in our county -- I could not believe the lack of openings. The earliest one place said they 'might' have an opening would be late December, and there were several others ahead of me on their waiting list. *SIGH*
There aren't many day care centers in close proximity to our home and the office, because we live in a fairly rural area. My friend suggested that perhaps many of them have lost children due to parents being laid off, and in turn have reduced staff as well....creating a lack of openings. So my options are very limited. I am not very comfortable with in-home daycare situations and the risks of what could happen or isn't happening but should be - behind closed doors in a private home of someone you don't know very well.
So, I let the gal know that I couldn't secure daycare, and it wasn't going to happen for me. I was SO Close....but Dead End! There are very few jobs in this area...and now, very few day care options, too. Sheesh!! Sometimes it feels like I keep running down dead end roads...like a hole that I can't seem to get out of.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, right now. Or Maybe I'm not supposed to be there. I'm struggling with acceptance that God has a plan...and to just trust that, and wait, until it is revealed.