Things that make you go hmmmm.
Yesterday was the anniversary of when I got married...the first time.
It didn't dawn on me until very late last night, that it would have marked 20 years since our wedding day, had the ex and I still been married. Wow. 20 years! That makes me feel really old. (I got married at 23... I was married to 'the ex' for 14 years of those 20 years...so you math wizards out there can figure out how over the hill I really am)
I sat and reflected on that time in my life, in disbelief over how fast the years get away from us sometimes. I thought about all the significant milestones during those years...the ups and many downs, the journey through my insurance career, about putting off college until my 30's, and how hard I worked at both my job and school. I thought about my beloved little Jack Russell terrier, how fresh the pain of putting him down in January 2004 --right before we separated a couple months later--still is to this day.
I've been married to my Mr. Hottie for 4 years now. My old life seems light years away. Sometimes it seems like somebody else's memories. Maybe from a book I've read.
Someday, I'll pull out the old photos, and tell Isaac the story of my life, up until he came home with us. I'm not sure when that will take place, but I want to be honest with him...since it's who I was, and part of who I am now.
Finally I began to reflect on my life now, and how I have changed so much as a person. How I am SO VERY blessed in many ways. Yes there are ups and downs now, and true, I'm not crazy about where we live....it's too cold here, and I find the culture a bit rough...I long for a southern home...and yes, sometimes I miss my career and "having a life" outside the home....but I have so much to be thankful for. I have a loving, attentive husband who works very hard to provide for his family, the means to stay home with our precious sweet baby boy, my big lovey-puppy Lucie, a nice home, a good reliable car, a good church, and food to feed my family.
They say God has a plan for us...and everything happens for a reason...we may not understand the journey, and we should just trust Him and His plans for us. I believe this, now more than ever.
My life has taken a complete 360 degree turnaround...a couple times, really, in the last 20 years. This is a good thing. I believe I'm right where I was meant to be.